Our generation is the one that has to establish certain positive references regarding sexual diversity and growing up without strict gender roles.

As children we did not have these references, which is why our Internalised Homophobia (HI) is still present in our unconscious and appears at times restricting and censoring our enjoyment and pleasure in living our sexuality in a natural, full and satisfactory way.

Some factors that hinder the acceptance of our sexual orientation are:

  • Presumption of heterosexuality, it works like the presumption of innocence, “everyone is innocent until proven guilty”, for the same reason “everyone is heterosexual until proven guilty”, until one says openly if one is gay or lesbian, or if one has a pen or not, the person must break with that presumption, so that they are not counted as heterosexual, breaking the schemes often weighs a lot and if it did not exist it would be much easier to carry for some people.
  • Assumption of homogeneity, we are all the same, and when we recognise our orientation, a series of stereotypes are incorporated into the same package and this makes us not accept ourselves, “if I say that I am gay they will think that I am promiscuous, that I am more sensitive, that I am less of a man” this generates discomfort in the person and makes the person not accept him/herself. The same thing happens with gypsy communities, foreigners, blacks, women, etc. “Homophobic bullying is not only suffered by homosexuals, but by anyone who does not strictly comply with gender roles”.
  • Lack of positive references, the less positive references or in general the more difficult it will be to be accepted, that is why it is more difficult to be accepted in rural areas, in the gypsy ethnic group.
  • Lack of references for living together, there are stable couples within diversity, they have formed same sex parent families.
  • Lack of social and family support, it is important that the person talks about it with their families, as people without support are more prone to: suicide attempts, serious depression, substance abuse, unsafe sexual practices.
  • Having received a heterocentric sexuality, it is important not to have been educated under strict gender roles.
  • Having suffered violence or bullying at school due to LGTBIphobia, sometimes before being aware of having a sexual orientation. This makes it more complicated, as it generates suicidal ideation or self-harm.

About HI, how to work on it through emotions and other topics will be addressed next Tuesday 20/12/12 in the workshop: “I still live in the wardrobe”, an activity that is part of a series of workshops on affectivity and sexuality that are taught in our NGO Colors Sitges Link.

If you are interested in participating in this workshop next Tuesday 20/12/12 at 19:00h, you need to sign up at the following link: https://colorssitgeslink.org/en/event/taller-dentro-del-armario and that day you bring with you a picture of yourself when you were a child, with it we will work on a fun and emotional dynamic that will allow us to connect with our inner child and learn to know ourselves a little more.

By Javier Sotomayor C.
Facilitator of workshops Sexuality and Affectivity / Sexological Orientation / Individual and Couples Sex Coaching / Facilitator Men’s Circles