Unwanted loneliness is a serious problem for many LGTBIQ+ people: they feel lonely, even having an active social life and this problem becomes more intense with age.

“Our great torment in life comes from the fact that we are alone and all our actions and efforts tend to flee from that loneliness.” -Guy de Maupassant-

We only develop strong self-esteem if we have felt genuinely loved

Humans are social beings for whom relating, living with others, is something as vital as breathing or eating. In fact, we can only survive if someone takes care of us after birth and, among other things, we only develop strong self-esteem if we have felt genuinely loved, understood and accepted by our caregivers, usually parents.

Something must happen to have that deep feeling of being alone

By relating we develop: we contrast ideas, we share emotions and affections, we associate, we feel we belong to the community, protected, safe, understood, motivated to learn, achieve goals and build a life…. Then something must happen to have that underlying feeling of being alone.

The deep reality is that one is never alone

What is usually found when investigating that background loneliness is that the person is not keeping himself company, that is, he is not being a good friend to himself. After all, the deep reality is that one is never alone, as we tend to believe. The reality is that one is always accompanied by oneself.

Being with others will not be an escape from being with us

That is why it is very necessary to learn to be with oneself, as necessary as learning to be with others, after all, we will spend our whole lives with ourselves. And if we know how to be good with ourselves, being with others will not be an escape from being with us, it will be a genuine desire to be with the other.

Know how to be with yourself

And what does it mean to know how to be with yourself? An exhaustive answer to this question has led to many books, but in a synthesis that fits the space of this article, knowing how to be with yourself is:

• Listen to the body and the impressions that come from within.
• Accept yourself as you are, which sometimes means forgive yourself for being who you are.
• Integrate what we don’t like about ourselves with what we do like.
• Stop forcing ourselves to manifest ourselves according to external canons alien to our true self.
• Know our real needs, desires and motivations and take the reins to cover them day by day.

Emotional and Psychological Support Service

The psychological assistance service helps you start this path of self-knowledge so that you learn to be the best company of yourself.

Juan Carlos Uríszar,
Registered psychologist of our association.

Hold our hand

Do not hesitate and fill out the following form to make an appointment with our Emotional and Psychological Support Service. We will contact you shortly.